You know, its really hard to think back to the beginning of January. My wine-soaked brain is letting things slip away, but also, it seems SO long ago. I can't believe we are into February already, January must have been so quick, yet it seems so long ago...I gotta do some yoga or something!

Not to worry however, I do keep a diary and so memories are not quite as imperative as they used to be...!

Let's see...

Yep, Jan 1st I spent at my wee sister's house with my family - including my beautiful god-daughter - oh joy. This was a good time to come home too. Good food, more (effin) wine and good company. We sat there for about two days and ate, drank, cooked breakfast, sang, laughed and watched TV - things like SpiderMan and Billy Elliot - from one type of violence to another. I must say though, I would take the British film any day. No offence to the Americans, but hey, playing for points or what...all the violence and shmaltz is so in your face with Hollywood movies. Whereas with BE, it was underlying. I, personally, find that much more harrowing. Anyway, who cares about the violence in BE, what about the music and the dancing - it was tremendous. Too many sweary words for Caitlin...but the dancing...MAGIC. Picture it though, my brother Mark, sleeping on the couch, and all the rest of us (women!) were sitting on the couches and floor space, crying our eyes out! Like I say...MAGIC!

What else was magical about that couple of days is that it reminded me of being a wee girl in Foxbar, Paisley. Ours was always the house for parties...New Year was no exception! In fact, it was the rule. Usually we had an open house for about three or four days. Aunties, Uncles, neighbours, cousins, pals, dogs and cats, all came round to eat, drink, sing and laugh...it was a great time. My oldest brother (Anthony) recounted a story of getting up the next day after a New Year party - well, it was actually during the party. He was only a wee boy, but remembers all the 'adults' being pretty well on after having done an all singing, all dancing all nighter and continuing on during the next day. Imagine having six kids AND the energy for all that partying. I'm sure my parents only did alcohol and not speed - I'm sure!!! Maybe I should just ask...!

For the next couple of days we just visited and wished folk happy new year and moved around from house to house battening down the hatches for real life to kick-in. That is, I had one eye on the news...

Every time I see George W I get a tingle in my spine - you know, like THE TINGLER, that old B&W horror movie. I honestly believe that someone is speaking into George's his ear when he is giving an off-the-cuff press interview. Just look at him next time...the ear piece is in his left ear...he stops talking at the most ludicrous moments...his eyes move to his left...(as if trying to read the ear piece!)...and then he says something slightly legible, the only thing missing is 'Roger that Eagle one'. I'm sorry, I'm sure in the middle-ages I would be hung, drawn and quartered for treason or something, but hey, in those days they had people who came to power in the strangest ways...you know, like disappearing monarchs or cross marraiges or missing chad's...!

Anyway, get me off that one...although I dare say I will return to it at some point!


7th-12th January So, back to work...you know the strangest thing happened. I have always been lucky, always played music and written songs for my living. And, as you probably know...I now talk about music for a few days a week with the Paisley Partnership and get paid for it. Life's a breeze. But, I got what I have heard described as the Monday blues...almost like a dull dread of going to work. Woah! I'm not too happy about that, that was not in my job description. However, a wee bit of analysis kicked in.

Well...I'd just had a great two-week holiday, quality time with my partner, reading books I wanted to read, doing things I wanted to do, when I chose to do them. Then, after the holiday, I got to hang out with some of my favourite people for a few days, again doing what I wanted to do when I chose to - IE non-reality. Then it was back to 'work' - IE Reality. Its kinda crap when someone, or something says you have to do something...that's even the same in the kid-on world of music - when you have to write songs, you have to write songs and when you have to record them, then you just have to record them! I know, it doesn't sound bad but I guess its just restrictive...or something. I don't think I'm explaining this too well...I'll try another tact!

I remember being in Hong Kong with Stuart Adamson, feeling a bit low - imagine it, in Hong Kong with god-like Stuart Adamson and feeling low...I didn't know how to explain what I was feeling and then Stuart said something about how he couldn't sleep the night before...that he'd had 'the dooms'. Well, that was it, I had the dooms in Hong Kong, I had the dooms at the beginning of January - no reason for it except that you just have 'the dooms'. Kinda like homesickness, kinda like a bad feeling, kinda like, you don't know but you just feel something. You can get the dooms anywhere and anytime, I just didn't know how to explain it then and nope, still not explaining it too well now! Well, I just had the dooms right?!

Still, they didn't last...I was back to work having a blast and preparing for 'the big meeting' which I'll return to later - although, its all going to be cloak and dagger stuff - you know, no names, no dates, no times and no places...hey, this is definitely not the day for explaining things!

I managed to get my accounts done and in to my accountant just in time for the deadline for self-assessment tax stuff. You know, the thing where if you don't get it done, the patronising man with the bowler hat from the tv tells you how remiss you've been and how if you don't get your tax stuff done, then the tax people are perfectly entitled to come and take your house, your clothes, your moped and your first born...well, I got mine in on time - okay! Nah nah nah nah nah.

Also, this week I got to hold a pilot song-writing workshop at Woodmill Secondary school in Dunfermline with Gifford Lind. Gifford is an amazing traditional folk singer who works with The New Makars Trust. The idea is to encourage young people to write songs, they can be in whatever vein, but there is an emphasis on people writing about their environment. Gifford took that part of it, writing new stuff with some of the folks. I got to listen in and help with some ideas and songs that were already in existence in some shape or form - I gotta tell you, there are some talented people around - sadly though, at least one of them is destined to be a doctor! And, speaking of talented people...as I write this, I am listening to a new album by Stylus Automatic - it grrreat. I got a preview copy, but when its out for sale I'll let you know and you can judge for yourself. By the way, we were invited back to run a four week songwriting workshop session in the school.

On Sunday night (12th Jan) I went along to the Scotia Bar to see Ruth Martin playing. She has some really great songs and pulls in some excellent covers - Sixpence none the richer - and stuff like that to really compliment what she does. It was good to be in the Scotia Bar again. I used to play there a lot when I first kicked off and what a blast I had. Its great that a bar in the centre of Glasgow consistently lends itself to acoustic music in the way the Scotia (Glasgow's oldest pub) does...I wondered why I don't go there more often...then I remembered! At the beginning of the night it was really quite and there weren't too many people in at this point. However, I still managed to feel as though I had smoked a hundred cigarettes! ugh - I am a horrible non-smoker! You know the type who fans away your smoke from twenty feet! Still, the music was excellent. Hopefully Ruth will be starting on her album soon.


13th-19th January Not much to report this week. I had a pretty busy time with my consultancy thing - meetings, meetings, meetings...and still getting ready for the big one! I also had a special time with my beautiful god-daughter who took me to the uni cafe for tea (a kinda greasy glorias that has excellent, award winning, ice cream) - all those chips! it was hell!

All those meetings were kind of turning my hair grey too, well, all those meetings and all those drivers who are so gentle and kind on the roads - oh no, sorry, I was just living that unreal life there for a moment! I seem to remember saying that I couldn't blame bad drivers on Margaret Thatcher, well...The other day, when I was scooting along on my moped at 30mph in a 30mph zone - I had boy racer behind me...boy racer who had a lovely BMW and a bald patch (and, dare I say, a challenge in the trousers department!). Anyway, he wanted to get past me, you know, so that he could sit at the red light just up ahead. Well, there wasn't anywhere I could go to let him pass, except onto the pavement or onto the oncoming traffic. No, I couldn't do it, I value my life too much. But, not to worry, boy racer did it...yep, onto the oncoming traffic just so that he and I could sit side-by-side at the traffic lights, and the next set, and the next set! What's all that about? So, I started thinking...! ('Aw naw', you cry). Well, yeah...everyone is so caught up with their own life, and their own agenda that, not only do they not think about other people, it actually doesn't cross their minds to give a shit! Now, THAT I blame on Margaret Thatcher. You know, no-one even thinks about doing a wee simple thing that costs nothing, to help other folk out a wee bit. You know, like holding a door open, or letting a car out in front of you, or laying back from a scooter driver so that they don't feel intimidated or threatened. So yeah, a good week - and one that saw my hair go from grey to black...why? Because I'm worth it!!!!!!


20th-26th January I realised this week that I'm getting nervous about the show on the 22nd...do I have to be funny? Oh dear, I think this will keep me awake some nights over the next couple of weeks.

Anyway, this week was pretty busy...I had lots of work to do for Paisley and I had a nice time playing my guitar to my wee self...I love it, I love singing...do I ever mention that fact?

Then...I had THE meeting! Now, I've enjoyed some meetings throughout this role as Arts and Social Inclusion consultant. Most people I have met have been happy to meet and talk and have been happy to share ideas and have been encouraging as far as my ideas have gone. They have been happy to ask for advice and happy to give it when asked. I get to see how things work, I get to see who really does the leg work as far as dealing with underprivileged people is concerned, I get to meet folk who really seem to care. AND, I get to see who takes the credit for other people's hard work...and it makes my blood boil.

Now, like I said, names wont be mentioned, because I don't think its very professional...but I sat in a meeting for over two hours with some people who are meant to be our closest 'partners' and said nothing! Oh yes, lots of things were said, but nothing was REALLY said...James Dean, Big Div, my boss, the marketing person and I, went to peddle and to share ideas with these people (who, I'm told had already rubbished our idea before even discussing it), we were excited, enthusiastic, professional, and we were met with a brick wall of people who know better and who are insecure and who are unable to engage in any meaningful discussion - OH MY GOD, IT WAS HELL. Now, maybe I'm too simplistic, but I don't see what's wrong with saying 'I need some help here' or 'I hashed that one, but I'll do it properly next time', or, 'Sorry, I screwed up' or 'I'm really pissed off, can we deal with this?'. But folk are so afraid to actually say what they are thinking...not my boss mind you, he is a wonderful man who cuts straight to the chase! However, when the chase is so caught up with fear and with having to appear to be all powerful, then it doesn't work. Even writing about it here makes my blood boil and my head ache so I'm going to stop...suffice to say, I had a sore head for two days after that meeting...I gotta get a coping mechanism to deal with this, because I think that's the way the GAME works and I'll have to learn to play to the rules - either that or change the f***ing rules! Watch this space...!

Paisley Partnership had a good showcase at Celtic Connections too. Four acts played on the open stage - Stylus Automatic, Deque Rivers, Greg Barnes and Ruth Martin - and we had a wee wine reception for all the delegates who attended the festival...it was fun and the acts did themselves, and the Partnership, proud. I think good contacts were made there. Also, I am amazed that the Celtic Connections festival is in its 10th year. It is a wonderful festival and just seems to go from strength to strength. It gets bigger and bigger too. I really wanted to see Eddi Reader but couldn't make either of the nights she was playing - did anyone manage along? (for the many who have asked...I don't really know why I'm no longer invited to appear at the festival, why not ask Colin Hynd who is the Festival Director.) I won an award for being the Best Scottish Act there in 1995, it was indeed an honour. Only thing was, the award they gave me was a smoked glass vase which I passed onto my mum. She was so delighted, speechless (a first!) and taken aback, so much so, that she dropped the vase and it smashed into a thousand pieces! Duh! Not to worry though, Colin gave me a replacement for her - speechless again!

A good end to this week...we were hosting the siblings night this time round...Burns Night was the night! Acht, I know Rabbie Burns was a sexist chancer who would snog a frog if he could stop it leaping...but what a writer! He collected a lot of tunes to go with his lyrics and I had the pleasure of singing on The Pride and the Passion which was an arrangement of Burns tunes by Ron Shaw - ah now there's a musician! I'm sure its not very cool to say it, but I love to listen to that album. George Drennan and Rod Patterson are singing on it too mind you, so I don't feel to big-headed about it.

Anyway, I played it till my brothers and sister turned it off and replaced it with Salsa music - well, what can you expect when, instead of haggis you have tapas for Burns night! We had made all that stuff that we ate on holiday, tapas this and tapas that, garlic this and garlic that, chilli this and chilli that...it was excellent. My brother-in-law Cameron is a chef and helped us to prepare all the food - aahhhh magic! We made so much of it that we ate the left overs for breakfast on Sunday afternoon. That's the way of a siblings night, you have to be prepared for a whole weekend of debauchery. After breakfast, we watched a movie that I think is BRILLIANT - 'Y Tu Mama Tambien'. Well, I'm back at the Hollywood -v- British films, only this moves a few degrees off the scale. For those who don't know, it is a movie set in Mexico. The average output of movies in Mexico is seven per year - just a little less than the US eh? the movie was billed as a road movie with sex...hopefully that got some punters in...but I didn't think it was a road movie about sex...I thought it was an excellent, provocative story about the political climate in Mexico...you'd never guess I did Mexican Politics at uni huh?...the sex part was just a nice, funny aside. However, I recommend it and, if you have seen it, reviews to gals@hipichik.abel.co.uk please!


27th-31st January So, the last week of January - wow, who blinked?

I mentioned Stuart Adamson earlier...last year at this time (27th Jan) there was a tribute for him in the Carnegie hall, he's been on my mind lately. Its been just over a year since he died. Its funny how dates make you feel like you did when you first heard he'd gone...too sad. Still, the night in Dunfermline was a send off and a half...you should have heard his daughter, Kirsten, singing. She has quite a voice. Calum too, his son, played guitars and stuff...they did him proud - too bad he can't be with them now. Then of course there was the night in the Barrowlands for him at the end of May, you know the one where you couldn't get a ticket for love nor money, and where the crew at the front of the stage just kept chucking cups of water over the crowd to keep them cool - the one where Kirsten and I got to sing backing vocals for Steve Harley and The Skids, to mention a few. That big guy really know how to show people a good time, even now.

But, reality bites...I had a pitch for a pilot job in Stirling, involving arts and social inclusion. A good team went forward for it so we'll see what happens...in fact, I know just now but I don't want to upset the equilibrium of my wonderful story telling (!!) right?

On Wednesday 29th, I was invited along to play at a launch for Accumen which is an organisation that deals with people who have had mental health issues. The launch was in the new complex called Loch Lomond Shores - now that was impressive. We had the benefit of turning up on a really beautiful day, you know the type where its cold and still and really, really sunny. The loch was so still and the reflection on the water was breathtaking; the view from the restaurant too was breathtaking. It was a nice wee short set, only four songs, but I could have sung in that theatre for ever...it was fantastic and well worth a look. If you're driving out that way, then don't pass it, go in, even for a cuppa, its worth it.

On Friday, I was invited to an art opening at the Print Studio in Glasgow. Now what I know about art, you could write on my backside - no, no, that's too much - you could write on my finger nail! Well, what a laugh we had. I know what I like and I know what I don't when it comes to art...for instance, I know that I like Craig's painting on the front of Naked, I know also that I don't get the point of Kandisnki's colourful squares. And, there was some stuff at the opening that I liked, the religious icon stuff was really cool. It was by a guy called Craigie, I can't remember his surname at this precise moment. However, there were other paintings, some of which had a big dog in them. Now I wasn't too keen on these...however, this guy (Ray) came asking some questions about what we like and didn't like etc...well, Amanda told him that she didn't like dogs and so, wasn't keen on those paintings. Angela took this a bit further and just plain old told him that she didn't like the dogs, nor did she like those pictures 'I mean, what's the point of drawing some big ugly dog' and of course, lovely, smart, intelligent readers, you've guessed it - indeed it was Ray who painted those pictures with that big ugly dog! Well, that dog was Ray's ex-girlfriends and, well, there wasn't really a way for us to get out of this whole - until Judy said '...but the colours are nice...'. Phew, that seemed to do it for Ray, the star attraction of the opening who had come up from London especially for the night! He hung out with us all night and, I believe he and Judy exchanged numbers.

Another thing happened that night that warmed my heart...a guy came up to me and said 'Carol Laula, how are you doing?'. Always a good opener for my inflated ego. We spoke some, he'd been to some of my shows and played a bit himself. He played a bit more in the 80's but had a wee hand problem which meant he couldn't do much guitar playing. However, he's managing to master it and play a wee bit now and then...well, it only goes and turns out that this guy who 'played a bit' was Peter Nardini! A great singer/songwriter on the circuit back then AND who wrote Andy Cameron's hit 'I want to be a Punk Rocker but my mammy wilnae let me'. He's a wee legend and what a nice wee guy, so completely unassuming and warm. Then there was the other guy who was an artist himself and, I'm just guessing here, had enjoyed a little too much of the free wine. Dear oh dear...I must get that magnet surgically removed! What he could see in those pictures astounded me! The big ugly dog was actually the coming of the anti-christ and the stairs behind were actually leading up to HELL, and, not only that, the colours signified the birth place of the artist! Hmm time for me to get some of that free wine I think!

That is exactly what I did do, and by the time I got home, I had an e-mail saying that we got the pitch for the Stirling Job - ahhh!

Anyway, I gotta go...I thought this would be a short entry but alas, I talk way too much. I do have to revisit the George W subject but I guess I'll wait till the end of Feb...its a short month!

Take Care and have a peaceful time in February, remember if someone does something nice then pay it forward - did you see that movie? Anyway, there I go talking again, I'm off to watch the West Wing

BARTLETT FOR PRESIDENT

Carol

ps - gotta tell you guys, my mum will be horrified at the faintest suggestion of her having done any illegal substances...my dad? He will be strangely pleased...!