December 2005/January 2006

Off to Guatemala and the longest Christmas day ever

So, yes, we've just slept in for our flight to Guatemala! Of course we didn't miss it, but we were sweating a bit!

It was funny to fly on Christmas day. Because we were going west, it was the longest Christmas Day ever. I really don't intend to take you through every minute of the flight(s), but there are some things I would like to just mention!!!

We got to Newark airport. Now, you know I've been to the States many times. Indeed, I love the States. However, understandably, this is a country on high alert. But my god, were they rude! I stood in a line to go through customs - bearing in mind I was to be there for an hour and a half. Then a guy in a customs uniform came up and grunted at me.this obviously meant 'excuse me ma'am, would you move into another line please?' because when I said I would just stay in the shorter line, the guy literally shouted at me - 'I WANT YOU IN THIS LINE'! Now, I don't know, but was that code for Merry Christmas and welcome to the United States of America? I know many folk from the US and none of them speak that language - thank god!

In sharp contrast to Newark airport, Guatemala airport was so chilled. It was tiny and the customs guys were all smiling and laid back - either that or they were all ragin' and we just didn't notice because we had just had a marathon 36 hour Christmas day!

Maybe it was because we were tired, but we stepped into the first of many faux pas in our quest to speak as much Spanish as possible! A wee taxi driver was taking us to our hotel (we'd booked for the first night, since it was Christmas at 11pm). Anyway, Amanda was 'chatting' to the taxi driver and after we did all that hello, where are you from (like he was going to be from anywhere other than Guatemala?) he asked how long we'd be in Guatemala. Amanda said we were here for a table more or less! A table? The guy just nodded and smiled. The Spanish for 'table' and 'month' is very similar.but not that similar! Jules (Spanish speaker of the travelling foursome) missing you already!!

Antigua

We decided to chill out for the first few days of the trip, you know, get our bearings, wind down, just not do too much. So, after we spent the whole day walking around the very beautiful city of Antigua, we booked to climb a volcano the next day - hmmm, very relaxing!

Before the volcano though, Antigua is a beautiful place, cobbled streets, lots and lots and lots of Mayan Indians going about their business (mostly on mobile phones; incongruous!). There didn't seem to be much poverty here and particularly touristy. Not in a Majorca way, but a lot a back-packers and travellers.

I should just mention the next language faux pas. There we were, booking our trip up the volcano and thinking ahead - '.uhu,' says I ' and to get there (Flores), do you have any buses that fly?' I hear you laugh, and laugh you may, particularly when I tell you that I was speaking in ENGLISH when I said that! Well, the guy who was dealing with us was hysterical. 'Yes,' he said 'the buses drive so fast that you think they fly - ha ha ha.'

Indeed, next morning, continuing on our 'let's take it easy' theme, we got up at 5.30 am - very relaxing - we had to hold on for dear life on one of those buses that do indeed fly! (A funny thing though, we stopped for petrol and they filled us up while the engine was still running! This happened a couple of times.)

Still, it was worth it all. We arrived at the fool of Volcan Pacaya after the most amazing drive through very green and lush countryside. Once again, Mayans who are obviously a very industrious people mostly populated the countryside. We saw a bit of this industry in the Chiapas region of Mexico, but here it was apparent, over the whole country.

Anyway, at the foot of the volcano, we met our guide - Lionel. Early in the morning, it was quite cold. Also, we were approached by a wee guy who wanted to sell us a stick for 3 Quetzales - 30p. So, for my dodgy ankle, we settled a stick each for 50p - a bargain indeed!

Then we were off. The guy told us the hard bit would be at the bottom. And, if you ask me the bottom lasted for a really long time - like three and a half hours - till we got to the top, at least! We did stop every so often and have a wee snack and water and stuff, but my god; this was a really hard climb. We were on the steepest slope and were climbing lava, so kept slipping and stuff. It wasn't funny for long - Amanda said I was like Victor Meldrew at one point. Thankfully she missed the other points I was like that!

This active volcano was almost 4000 metres high and it was one of the most thrilling things I have ever done. I can't really explain it, but you know that if we were at home, the top would be cordoned off and there would be a MacDonald's somewhere? Well, there was no cordon here, nor was there a fast food joint. We were just stood on top of this volcano, choking on sulphur and heat and looking into the abyss. Had we wished, we could have stepped into and of the craters. Mind blowing!

The way back down was much more fun (and faster) than the way up! It was like skiing. Lionel took my arm and just walked me down, heels first. It was like we were out for a walk and we were at the bottom before we knew it. Magical!

And yet, really exhausting - we were in bed by 8.30! Mind you, that was after some food and a tequila.now that's what we meant by 'chill out' for the first few days!

Panajachel on Lake Atitlan

So, next day it was up early and book the bus to our next stop. First of all though, we had to go with the tourism police (!) to visit a cross on a hill. No kidding, there has been so much crime in the past that there was a department of tourism police set up to take you places where you may be robbed.

One such place was on route to this cross, just out of town. Another such place was yesterday's volcano. Although, how a bloody robber could be bothered to climb that hill every day to rob the tourists is just a little beyond me!

And (just before we leave Antigua) we were in a wee café and saw this young couple with a brand new baby. The couple were white Americans and the baby was a very dark and beautiful wee thing. The day before, we had met a nice man from Michigan who had told us he was in town to adopt his fourth child. His other three children were Guatemalan. He pointed his daughter out, very beautiful and western looking, while dressed in the traditional Mayan skirt and seemingly, hanging out with her birth family - typically families here are really big; 12 or 14 Is fairly normal. He brought her home every year to visit them. It was fascinating to see the amount of this type of adoption throughout our trip.

Anyway, after collecting our bags, we were off on the next leg of our journey. A wee tourist bus (that flew) to Panajachel.

This journey was fantastic. Not least of all because we had a great political chat with the US citizens on the bus (Bush out/Clinton in, sort of thing) but because of all the roadside stuff we saw.

There were people sitting on beautiful green banks weaving, kids sitting on the side of the road waving to any passing vehicle, women carrying massive heavy loads on their heads, cows and pigs just walking down the street, soldiers with massive guns. I wonder - if the roadside is their workspace, where do they live, eat and sleep? Fascinating stuff.

We got to our wee room in Panajachel - dull but clean. Then wandered through this wee lakeside town. It was really touristy, but mostly Mayans on their holidays. It was really wonderful. Plus, there was this amazing lake surrounded by (more) volcanoes - sometimes I just wish my eyes were wider, I afraid I might miss something! (You probably noticed that we took the digital camera, and I will include more photos as we go, but we managed to take over 700 photos! - promise not to include all those.)

Once we'd wandered, we went back to our hotel, but wait, it was only 9.30! Don't want to go to be too early now do we?

So, we didn't, we went up onto the roof. It was funny though, because, we had these wee lamps for our heads - well, remember Cuba, there were no streetlights? So, every ready.we sat there chatting with our lights on our heads (!) then our lovely wee host - Pedro - came up.and switched the bloody lights on - duh!

He joined us for a while and we chatted - or tried to. This is when you really miss Jules. Although, I shouldn't dis Amanda's Spanish too much, because she's really good at it, well, if you don't care too much about tables and months! Anyway, Pedro was explaining a wee bit about the politics in Guatemala, and the polarised society. Not long ago (about twenty years) one of the dictators tried to wipe out the Mayan Indians in Guatemala; there was a mass genocide. It seems to be the life-long struggle of this race to be recognised in their own countries, but some really treat them as 3rd and 4th class citizens. Not only that, but there are something like 27 languages spoken in Guatemala and so there are even prejudices among the indigenes. Pedro and his family are Mayan. His mother is Quiche though and doesn't speak a word of Spanish, let alone English.

So, we went back to our room to find a visitor. I don't know if it was the tequila, but when Amanda said the C word, I felt quite calm - only because I didn't see it - IN HER TOILET BAG!!!

Next day we took a chicken bus and found out exactly why they are so called. It was early in the morning and everyone who had anything to sell was going to the market at Chichicastenango - including chickens (allow me, if you will, a couple of photos here). We were sitting on the bus - obviously the only non-Guatemalans. Loads of Mayans were getting onto this old US school bus with their wares and all along the luggage racks were boxes of baby chickens, all talking and making noises, feathers flying everywhere - all for sale. You can see the bus there, but the decoration on these things is totally elaborate. These folk take pride in their buses. Plus, the rack on top is usually full of stuff too, as well as a wee guy up there tying stuff down while the bus is in full motion - none of that 'please don't stand in front of this line' stuff here. It was totally crazy.

The market was amazing too. Just bustling. A wee boy called Jerimias Jeronimo Panto - honest! - had hassled us to buy some stuff and sought us out when we were eating breakfast. 'You said you would buy after'. What could I say? 5 dollies, 20 quetzales and a few tortillas later, he was gone.

Sadly, and rather frustratingly, I could never get over the sheer magnitude of what was going on in that market, but it was buzzing, really, totally, completely and absolutely buzzing.

I realise though, that I'm taking too long. Of course, I'm reliving the trip with every word I write! Bear with me.indulge me.put the kettle on again!

Next day, we went out to a few stops on the lake. Well, here I saw the most bizarre thing ever. Maximo - a Mayan god. Like any god, Maximo is the guy you pray to if you want to give thanks, get things, ask for good (or bad) fortune or whatever. Maximo is a wax dummy and there are many Maximos in Guatemala. Each community has one and the chosen family waits him on, they then puts Maximo up for a given amount of time - a month, a year? - and in that time, because of their honourable status, the family has to provide feasts for the community - even if it means they have to go into debt to provide these feasts; the honour far outweighs the burden.

I suppose it's no different to the Catholic Church, but a wee girl - Veronica - approached us and asked if we wanted to go and see him. You can't just go, as he literally has no fixed abode! So, for 50p Veronica took us to the chosen house. Now, I was raised catholic and so am used to rituals and ceremonies, but not this!

In the room was Maximo - the life sized wax doll, dressed like Elvis - was flanked by two men who were giving him cigarettes, then flicking the ash off for him! In front of Maximo were a load of burning candles then two people - father & son? - and from what we could pick up, the dad wanted Maximo to expel the evil spirits that have made the son do whatever it is he did! Meanwhile, the mum and the rest of the family were all sitting on a bench beside me praying to Maximo - all this in a room the size of your living room - very strange! At the end of the ceremony they all drank a rum and coke and left touching the doll, giving him money and talking to him - even stranger. Like Mexico, the Mayans take a very ecumenical approach to religion, like the Lonely Planet says, a God, is a God, is a God!

Anyway, then it was off on another boat to San Pedro. Well, we met some tourists from h-e-l-l. This couple didn't want to pay 15 q for the boat because they thought they were being ripped off - they thought it should only be 5 q - £1.50 & 50p. So, the boat guy was shouting and the tourists were shouting and the Mayans were laughing and some other tourists - 2 Italians and a German - told the horror tourists in English that if they didn't pay then the boat wouldn't leave and then the horrors said that, for paying the £1.50, the German girl was 'just a stupid tourist'. Can you believe it? She actually said that to her. Then in my head, fantasy took over.I said (rather unkindly!) 'yeah well, better to be a stupid tourist than an ugly one' then all the folk on the boat cheer, even the Mayans who can't speak English!

So, fantasy over, we got to San Pedro, it was pretty dirty and it was only later that we sussed out why. We'd passed a dry riverbed with a house lying in it and asked why. Lake Atitlan was badly hit by the Hurricane in October 05 and much of it hadn't recovered. In fact, further up that dry riverbed was a village that is now called 'the cemetery' because it was completely destroyed and no survivors were ever found. It has just been left as it is.

Then, on the other side of the lake was San Marcos.peaceful, quiet and oh so dull! Honestly though, it was basically a yoga retreat and as soon as you got off the boat there were signs everywhere, in English, saying 'silence please'. Mand and I ordered alcohol and you could hear all the whispers all over the place. 'alkies on the shore.alkies on the shore'. We were outta there!

Out for dinner that night, we met our wee pal - Veronica - again. Although she was out trying to sell her wares to the tourists, she and her friends were happy to sit eat with us. But all these kids want is a pepsi or a coke! The power of advertising eh?

The next day (Hogmanay), after the most amazing trip that took us to another Maximo, some natural hot springs that were all ours for about two hours and visits to the cemetery (if these folk have a frugal time in life, they have sheer luxury in death!), it was off to toast a Scottish new year.

We sat in a wee bar overlooking the most glorious lake, looking at the volcanoes, chatting to beautiful wee girls and all I could do was cry! You know that way? I just couldn't stop myself! Acht well, the only obvious cure was another tequila! Happy New Year!

Later that night - after the Hogmanay nap that only old folk ever used to take! We went up onto our roof for the bells. I have never seen fireworks like this. Some organised, some just thrown in the street for a laugh! It was glorious. I felt like I was watching the Sydney Olympic ceremony, but with a Guatemalan family on the roof. Also, did you know that fireworks are made in Guatemala?

January 1st, off to Flores

The next day we were wakened at 5am, as usual, by the parrots down stairs who keep saying 'Bueno' of 'Dr Love' at the top of their voice - often times sounding like strange computer game parrots. I've never been a particular lover of animals and Guatemala did little to stimulate any pending love!

Okay, so, we're only in the first week and I still have lots to say.kettle again?

We were both a little fragile on New Year's morning so things were slow. Not so on the beach though. No way, this was a holiday and this place was absolutely mobbed. The beach was just full of cars and families with their buses and picnics. I got talking (!) to a guy and all he could say was wheeesky and laugh and all I could say was tequila and grimace - a riveting conversation indeed! However, these people just wanted to talk and make friends; just warm, friendly, people.

However, we were off to Flores in El Peten, site of the most comprehensive Mayan ruin sites. But what a journey we had.

We were offered the chicken bus for about 20p each - it takes 8 hours on a fancy bus, so god knows how long the chicken bus journey would have been. No, no, we opted for the fancy-nancy bus. It came in a something like 35 or 40 pounds each. So, we had to get transport from Panajachel to Antigua then from Antigua to the bus station in Guatemala - it was getting late too, so there wasn't much to see.

Then, we got to the bus station in Guatemala - not exactly luxury. In fact, not exactly nice! I over heard an American girl chatting to her friend who was asking her about her iPod 'oh, you haven't kinda like seen wunna those kinda yet?, Well, I kinda bought it at the airport, you just kinda like press this like.' Oh my god! How can you kinda buy something? You either do, or you don't - this was going to be a long journey. Still, we had the opportunity to go on this early bus, or wait for the slightly later bus. We opted to wait for the slightly later bus because we didn't want to arrive in Flores at 7am with nowhere to stay. Oh how glad we were. Only because the later bus actually got us into Flores at 4.30 am! So, if we'd taken the early bus, we'd have arrived kinda like at 2.30 or something with nowhere to stay!

After a whacky races journey we arrived and amazingly found a restaurant open at 5am - time for coffee! Then it was off to our wee Island of Flores and the Don Goya hotel. Not luxury, but clean beds and a bathroom - what more can you ask for eh?

So, we were off for breakfast and a kinda like look around. What a beautiful wee place and oh so hot. We took a 5p boat ride to the mainland for a look around and just saw total laid back life. It was very chilled; even the pigs were chilled.

Next day we saw the Mayan ruins - indeed they were amazing. All there was was jungle, through which we saw monkeys scale the trees. The huge pyramids peaked their heads out of this jungle - they were absolutely huge.really, really tall. I have a couple of pictures but, as luck would have it, the day I went to see this once-in-a-lifetime wonder - my camera ran out of batteries!!! No need to worry though, because, there we were in the jungle, all in a tiz, looking for a battery shop, when Amanda whipped out her red lipstick and applied - ahh, all was going to be well! We also met an American woman who was looking at a mass of moving ants about three x four metres - it looked quite amazing. Until she said, 'if you listen carefully, you can hear the pitter-patter of their tiny feet'. We listened.we did listen!

We'd also met a Belizean guy who suggested a few things to do if we decided to go to Belize. Well, it was just a couple of hours away and well, why not? We were off.

Belize
Excuse me? I'm going to Belize - now how the hell did that happen? Only problem was that Sadaam Hussain was driving our but to Belize, I'll swear it was him.

Anyway, Sadaam got us there no probs except that at the border we had to wait for about 30 minutes for everyone on the bus to get through. We all managed, however it was so hot that I was just bathed in sweat. I THINK this was a good sign. I wanted sunshine after all.

So, we got to San Ignacio which was to be our first stop. And here, I gotta tell you, we did the most amazing thing. But first, let me tell you about my next language faux pas. We got to a wee café and there I was all Spanish and asking for an Agua Minerale con gas. The waiter looked at me askance, 'I donno wha' yo' sayin' man!' was his response! Indeed, the first language in Belize is English, next to that is creole! 'Water with bubbles please' said Amanda!

We stayed at the pink Hy-et hotel and believe me, it wasn't only the spelling that was different to the one in LA! However, as with all our digs (and there were many) it was clean.

There were a couple of other things here that I should mention. We went for lunch in Café Sol, a wee place with a Belizean chef and run by a Stepford wife - I'm sure of it. 'Hi, how are y'all doin' today' her eyes didn't move nor did her mouth when she spoke. And, she wore a permanent smile! But it was fine, we just sat down, had a nice lunch and, as you do, got talking to the people round about us. Now, we were very chilled at this point. Then the guy - a big English movie producer who was on the run (supposedly) from the Catholic Church after making a 'balanced' documentary about abortion - started talking to us. In a very short space of time, we found out all that movie stuff, we also found out that he was in Belize trying to get his Republican American girlfriend to marry him, even though she finished it with him, she was 26 and he was just about to be 40, although he wasn't looking forward to that 'no-way, no siree', not only that but he'd left his calling in the priesthood for this girl and not only that, his friend who was with him was in training to be a priest. (I didn't use full stops, because he didn't!!!)

Eh? What? Sshhh? A lovely guy but, please, I'm having my lunch here!

Then, as if that wasn't all strange enough, we met a Canadian guy who had been living in Belize for years and counted the people who owned the guest house as his family. But wait, wasn't he a little pale to be Belizean? (I am reminded of that Steve Martin Movie). All in all, the people we met in San Ignacio were a little off the wall. It was a total culture shock after Guatemala.

But, enough of that, onto our good thing.

We signed up for something called the Actun Tunichil Muknal cave tour. As we were finding out all about it, the guy said that we must wear closed footwear, socks, lunch will be provided and we should bring insect repellent. Oh yes, and at no point would we go under the water nor would we be swimming for any more than twenty seconds nor would we have to crawl in the cave! Oh my god, this was going to be scary.

We left fairly early next morning and drove out onto a dirt track road into the middle of nowhere. It was pretty cool, especially when the van drove us through the river twice - the same river, we were told, that we'd have to cross on foot!! We got to a clearing - aka, the car park - and our guide Edwin took over from there.

'Okay guys, leave all your dry clothes, we'll change here afterwards. Give me your cameras, take your lunch and water and let's go'

We trekked through some thin jungle and within minutes, were at our first river crossing. No bridge, no boat, just straight through it.right up to our waist. Then, thicker jungle, and we were in the river again. This happened again and we were in really thick jungle, so think in fact, you couldn't see the sky. It was pretty exciting.

Then after about an hour, we were at base camp! There were two tents, a makeshift kitchen and a few logs to sit on. 'Okay' said Edwin 'you should eat your lunch now, you'll need your strength for the cave'! Hold on, two things here, I thought. There is harder than scaling the jungle, through rivers and stuff? And, its only 9.30 am, how can we have lunch now?

But, we did. And, we waited and waited and waited for our guide. It turned out though, that he had gone into the cave with another group and wouldn't be back for hours. But not to worry said Edwin, we'd still be 'going in'.

Now, this was slightly concerning. Mainly because it was to take about four and a half hours in and out and so, the arithmetic meant that we would be coming out of the cave and trekking back through the jungle in the pitch dark. CORRECT!

While, we waited for our guide we played some daft games with the rest of the group, some argued a bit with the organisers and we all laughed a lot. Amanda said it really was like the tv show 'I'm a celebrity.' but, if you ask me, there wasn't enough botox!

After a while, and a second lunch, our big Mayan guide - Lewis - came to get us. He didn't know anything about another group going in.more arguing. It turns out Lewis doesn't like to go into the cave too often because he feels a little like he's violating it every time he goes in. You see the ATM cave, as its called, is an ancient site that the Mayans used for many rituals, including human sacrifice. Not only that, but it has been left as it was found. There have been no barriers put up, there is no path round the place, you have to go with a guide in order not to displace any of the pots or SKELETONS that are literally lying around.

It honestly was truly amazing. We were given headlamps (a la ones that we had on the roof in Panajachel!) and told to follow him exactly and we were off - I christened the group 'Team Late'.

At the entrance to the cave there was a pool which we had to swim through to get inside. It was an incredible journey; we swam, waded, crawled, climbed, scrambled, stood in the pitch black, took our shoes off, dodged pots that were just lying all over the place. And every so often Lewis would stop us, have us all switch off our lamps and, in the blackest dark, tell us some amazing stories, or take us on a spiritual journey of what it must have been like for these people 1200 years ago to make this same journey, carrying heavy loads of pottery and food and offering and often bodies.

There was an amazing alter made up of stalactites and stalagmites (am I sounding like Ross here?). Then Lewis told us all to sit down in the dark and mentioned that next to me was the skeleton of a 12 year old boy (approx) and over there was the skeleton of a woman. And sure enough, right in front of our eyes.

Ocht, I could (and will) go on about this forever because it was incredible, but, for fear of losing friends, I will stop now.

We left the cave in the evening and, through the pitch black, trekked back through the jungle and river. And, remember my sore ankle? Yes, I tripped over on it twice and Amanda and Edwin had to help me through the last river crossing. In all my exhilaration though, I was numbed. This had been a good day, very good day.

The next day we were leaving for Placencia, a nice beach in Belize. However, we were told there was a political problem with the buses and they weren't running. We were also told in the guidebook that, under no circumstances should you go to Placencia at the weekend because it was so busy.it was Friday! So, things were pretty hectic. So much so that two guys approached us to say that as there was no chance of getting on the bus and they would drive us to Placencia for $75!! Eh, no, we'll take our chances thanks. Then the next thing you know (sounds like Desperate Housewives?!) some big guy comes up to me. 'Ma'am, dat man you were ta'alking to right nah? He's da biggess crack dealah in ta'awn, he ta'akes tourists an he ra'abs them. I'm wi' de secret police an juss thought you should know that'. Eh, yes, we'll definitely take our chances on the bus thanks!!

So we were all prepared, waiting for the bus and then we saw it, well we ran. Elbows out, in order to get on. Of course, the reality was that it was not a problem whatsoever! Not only that, but people were letting us on in front of them and being really helpful!

I shamefully took my seat and drove through the most incredible countryside. Up until recently, Belize was a British colony. Now something like 30% of its people live in abject poverty.I think I saw 28% of the 30%! We saw hurricane shelters everywhere and so am sure the weather doesn't help the people. Nor does the government. I heard from many quarters that the Belizean government is totally corrupt and that since this new party had been in power, billions of money has disappeared yet no one holds the government to account - sound a little familiar?

In order to get to Placencia, the bus - a big chicken bus - has to drive down a fairly windy dirt road for about two hours. Our guy did it at about 70 miles per hour.that was just on the bends!

Here we saw some live music - a big reggie band - it was magic fun. We also met lots of really lovely people. Not only that, but also two guys, an American and an Australian, saw fit to walk us home, just to make sure we were okay; so polite!

There were some young girls (about 15 years old) walking towards us all talking to each other and when they saw us they all said 'good night miss'. I thought they were bidding each other good night, but in actual fact, it's a greeting, like 'hello' or 'good evening'. Yes, this was the most polite place in the land - there was a real New Orleans feel about the people here. As well as that, the sky was MASSIVE. There were millions of stars.

Here, we treated ourselves to an amazing big room. Two big massive beds, bath, balcony, hammock and the sea which was about 20 yards from our balcony - it was indeed a treat - pure magic.

In fact, on our last day here, we had to take a wee boat to Mango Creek - the place where we had to get the bus to get the boat to take us back to Guatemala - follow? So, we'd met Alex who said he'd pick us up and take us. This meant that he 'parked' his wee boat on the beach 20 yards from our room, we loaded up our bags and then we went on the next leg of our journey. Mind you, Alex took us via the most beautiful desert island and over some incredible coral reef.

Livingstone, Guatemala

It was all a bit frantic getting to the boat from Belize to Guatemala, I was desperate for the loo and we had to get money to pay our exit tax from one country and our entrance tax into the next. It was all just a bit mental.

Still, we managed to find a bank, and, not to worry, we would use the facilities on the boat; the toilet could wait!

Except, when we got to the boat, it was a tiny wee thing and the only facility it had was a canopy to keep the sun off your head. Hmmm, the border crossing was going to be interesting!

And indeed it was. A wee flag marked the border, no guards, nothing. We arrived 45 minutes later at a wee port in Livingstone and someone said to go up the hill and have our passports stamped. Well, we could have gone anywhere, it was all so-o-o-o relaxed. And, when we got to customs it was equally chilled.

Still, at last, further up the hill, we met danger! Once again, the guidebook had warned us about people who come up and strike up a conversation for no apparent reason - they want something. So, there he was Dangerous Big Eddie who approached us, striking up a conversation for no apparent reason. Except that he wanted to take us on a tour the next day for the cost of £6 each! Not only that, this ruffian took us to about eight different hotels (all of which looked like something from Prisoner: Cell Block H) till we found one that we were happy with. He then left us at a wee restaurant for dinner and kind of hinted at a tip for helping us out - AHA, SO THE GUIDE BOOK WAS RIGHT, HE DID WANT SOMETHING - he took £2!!!

Not only that, but next day, Eddie - who was a lovely big guy by the way - took us on a great big walk around Livingstone, via some great swimming, a Garifuna village and then to an amazing beach for lunch. Garifuna are a Guatemalan race, supposedly sprung from a slave ship that sank on route to the US. This place, like Placencia, had a real Jamaican feel about it too. There was such a bizarre cross of cultures all across Guatemala.

Eddie also gave us the low down on a situation that occurred in town. Two hair braiders had fought over the custom of a tourist. One of the hair braiders, an older woman, stabbed the younger hair braider. The younger girl was now in hospital in a grave condition. To hear a story like that is just horrific. There we are living such an adventure and there they are living with so little that this is the only answer. Sometimes it's difficult to justify that in my head. Another aspect of this society is that, rather than wait for the police to intervene, often the community gets together and punishes perpetrators itself, often by lynching or shooting!!! It's just a different world.

It was pretty different the next day too when we decided that we would take a boat trip down the Rio Dulce and go to Honduras for a couple of days. Back to the adventure!

We got on another wee tiny boat and went for the most amazing boat trip; rucksacks and all. Only problem was that the rain came down - BIG! So there we were, twenty of us on this wee boat in the rain and the captain passed a sheet of tarpaulin for us to put over our heads - all very high tech!

And, we were off to Honduras - another country yet again! We took a wee tourist bus over the border which, like Belize, was just tiny. It was great though, because we met the two Italians and the German - you remember, all those pages ago? The ones who argues with the horrid tourists? - well, I got to tell them my fantasy and they loved it!

So Honduras, thankfully, I could ask for an Agua Minerale con gas without too much embarrassment - again, everyone was so friendly. Apparently Honduras is a democracy and the most stable country in Central America. Again, there was a massive Mayan population which always makes everything so colourful.

We went here to visit some ruins which were, as ever, pretty amazing. However, the big thing about this leg of the journey was our second visitor.

The day after we'd visited the ruins we were leaving and that morning, just as we were waking up, Amanda was talking about having 'something' in her sleep sheet, running up and down her arm and leg. 'Funny,' said I, 'I felt something running over my head and over my arm'. However, as we were chatting, we surmised that it must have been one of the (many) wee lizards we'd seen, or worse still, maybe that spider that was in our room the night before. However, we got ready to go. And, as I was packing my sleep sheet, I thought I'd turn it inside out.just incase. And there it was.a MASSIVE MASSIVE MASSIVE cockroach. It was about two inches long and about three quarters of an inch wide. I know its irrational, I know its mental, I know its lame. Give me spiders any day, but cucarachas? No thank you.ugh!!! And that's the last I ever want to hear or say about it - okay?

So, we ran as fast as we could back to Guatemala!

Esquipulas

On January 15th, Esquipulas celebrates the festival of the black Christ. Don't go that weekend, its too busy and they charge you a fortune for a room. We went that weekend - Friday 13th - and they charged a fortune for our room. But, know what? It was worth every penny. I don't know if any of you have been to a religious pilgrimage, I haven't, but I can tell you, it was the most fascinating thing. Of course we only went because of Amanda's weird fixation with religious iconography, but the whole thing was compelling. There were thousands upon thousands of people there. Every hotel was full, the grounds outside the church were full of families camping. Not in fancy zip up tents mind you, no, it was just tarpaulin roped up between the trees. Inside the church was full of more families, crawling to the alter, chatting, lighting candles, laughing, praying, singing, standing in line for anything up to five hours to see the black Christ. (We waited too, only for about an hour and a half). Once you've seen the Christ, you mustn't turn your back on him, therefore, you have to walk backwards for about ten minutes.

My days of organised religion are long over, but honestly, this was compelling. Not the church, but the whole ceremony. When we back that night, for about the sixth time, there were actually families sleeping inside the church. This is surely what churches should be all about.

I remember going to mass when I was young. My dad untied a cord so that the whole family could use a cordoned off pew at the back of the church. Father Brady was mad and gave my dad a row for untying the chord. Well Father, you'll be turning in your grave now, knowing that all this goes on in a church.all this fun, pleasure and heartfelt religion; not only do they sleep in the church, but they burn candles and stick them to the floor!

I got wondering though, what is it that these people pray for year in-year out? How does their life get better? Still, I guess that's the power of religion.

By the way, the story of the Black Christ goes something like this. Centuries ago missionaries came and built a church. Of course they needed a Christ, so they carved one out of some local wood - ebony. Then more centuries later, some friar who was ill came along to pray to this black Christ and was cured of his illness. And so, the pope ordered that a basilica be built. Since, then the basilica has survived many severe earthquakes, hence the spirituality of Esquipulas.

Antigua (for the night)

With only a few days left, we thought we'd go to the beach. This meant that we had to pass through Antigua and spend the night. In order to get there we took the bus (a bucket with springs, Amanda called it) from Esquipulas, changing in Guatemala City. We were advised to take a taxi from one bus station to another, which we did. But, was it our imagination, or did we not stop for breath? The bus stopped, a taxi driver took our bags and then at the other bus station our feet hardly touched the ground before we were on the bus again. Furthermore, our bus never stopped once on the way through Guatemala City, yet it filled up to beyond capacity. We passed shops, restaurants and banks all of which had armed guards at the door. It seems that the guidebook was pretty accurate about Guatemala City. So much so that the buses didn't even want to stop there.

Montericco

Next morning, we took a wee tourist bus down to the beach. We were in Montericco in time for breakfast - lovely.

Only thing was, a matter of two hours from Antigua, it was totally boiling. So-o-o-o hot. And, in this heat, we had to get a room. There was no way we were walking with backpacks so - T-A-X-I! And a room we got; a lovely wee thatched room in a wee complex right on the beach. It was just perfect.

The ocean was really rough though. I was a wee bit reluctant to go to far into the water. Not so Amanda, she was off, surfing the waves.I took photos.

And that was all we did for the last few days of our trip. We lay in hammocks, read books swam, drank pina coladas and watched amazing sunsets. Just perfect.

We did try to read the papers and all the stuff we thought about Guatemala City - only two hours away - seemed to be true. It seemed like there were many murders everyday. Wild, senseless murders - more like executions. I don't know, but it seems to me like there will be a lot of unrest in Guatemala over the next twenty years. It seems like there is so much lawlessness and corruption and the government is doing nothing to halt it.

Antigua (again!)

Well, this was our last night. We had to get up at 5am for the bus to take us to the airport, however, when we asked for an alarm call, they had no alarm clock. Aw naw, how were we gonni get up? We went shopping for an alarm clock. And, before it became apparent that there was no chance, I had one last try 'hola,' I started, and in my best Spanish, I asked if it was possible for me to wake him up in the morning!

And so, the trip started as it began.with me making the most ridiculous faux pas in the worst Spanish you ever heard! But hey, god loves a trier eh?

So, next year, El Salvador & Nicaragua, but until then, I hope that you made it all the way to the end of this diary. I know it was long, and believe me, that was a mooted version of events. I didn't even begin to tell you about all of the beautiful people we met; the kids who wanted to take photographs on the digital camera then look at themselves. Or the amazing birds we saw. Or the marriage proposals (!) Or the smells and sounds and.next time eh?

Suffice to say it was just a fantastic trip and I have an hour and a half worth of photos if you'd care to see some!

And a brief note about coming home. As always, it is great. Great to see family and friends and my wee home, which I love.

Then there was the new album, lots of nice press & radio and of course a show in St Andrew's in the Square. Now there's a place. Beautiful acoustics and a great chance to play with David again, here's to more of that.

Cheers and have a warm Feb.

Carol