June 2006

So, let’s get the W’s out of the way first – Wimbledon, I am loving it. The World Cup, I am loving too. I did tell you that I was supporting Mexico first then England second…well…

There I was, lying on the couch, telling myself that it was great, they were on the cusp of beating Sweden for the first time in about a hundred years. Rejoice…

And then it happened, Henrik Larsson equalised! Well, of course I should have been disappointed, especially since I’m supporting England. I’d even bought a flag and a mug for Judy…and, when Henrik scored in the dying seconds of the game, I was up off the couch, jumping about and whooping like a two-year-old – hmmm, what does that tell you?

However, it should be noted that I was delighted when they beat Ecuador and moved into the last eight – I’m lovin’ it.

There have been some cracking games haven’t there…I am always amazed at how much I love these big sporting events.

Also, Wimbledon? Go Andy!

Sadly however, at time of writing, England and Andy are out. Not surprising after England’s lacklustre performance, but what about Andy Murray? He was really going for it. I look forward to enjoying his career.)

1st-11th

And so, Zelda was fixed…or was she?? Well, there I was zooming up the hill at about 12 miles an hour – eh? That isn’t right!

So, more chat with Marco’s dad. Gulio who knows James who fixed the scooter for me a few days ago… ‘ok, it must be the clutch rollers’ (hmm…now I thought that was the name of a band from Inverness, but, of course, it turns out that that is the LushRollers). Anyway, into the bike shop for the band, no, no, I mean for the part.

‘Clutch rollers are exhaust specific’ says the guy at Mickey Oates. In English, that means that if you get a new exhaust, then it comes with specific clutch rollers to help it run…fine, I’ll just get back in touch with scooter world. And, of course, I got in touch with them and they said,

‘eh? Aye, well, oar be dw the ald isi jfkdl qpals dkfj jklfsdajl;d’ which I believe, loosely translates as ‘we don’t have them and sometimes you don’t even need them’ (stress on the ‘sometimes).

Of course, this is one of the times that I did need them and they didn’t even have them! So, my suggestion was that if they were about to charge someone £200 for half a job, perhaps they should make the customer aware of this possible shortcoming. His answer was ‘uuuu-hu’

So, as per last month, DON’T GO TO SCOOTERWORLD.

No, instead, go and see Marco’s dad who seems to be able to nothing else but help people. He’ll put you in touch with James who just seems to take things, charge you pennies to fix them and then, drop them off again. No fuss – Perfect. The upshot is that Zelda now flies like the wind!

And, grump over!

Especially when there is a gig coming up with Liz Lochhead – Poet Laureate, no less! We had a wee show as part of the Govan Fair. It was such a fabulous night.

We turned up at the gig (David and I) and were gobsmacked by the hospitality. Honestly, the people who ran the venue couldn’t be more kind. Any food, any drinks, anything we wanted was there on the house. You know, we were talking about sometimes when we do gigs here and there and some places you go to – big fancy arts centres or the like (not all of course) but some places you have to ask or beg for a drink of water! Here, we were all treated like royalty.

We weren’t sure how the gig would turn out though, because there hadn’t been much advertising, plus it was a really hot night, who wanted to be inside. However, there were loads of people there and Liz and I had a great gig. We’ve been talking about putting together a wee ‘love tour’ where she and I do some shows combining the music and the poetry and this was a nice pre-curser to getting that off the ground – watch this space!

We also got to enjoy the West End Festival parade this year – bloody magic – Glasgow really is miles better, or wetter – but no, it wasn’t midsummer yet!

12th-18th

Well, not happy to do our detox week last week, we decided to wait till this week – Oh, effin, joy. Mind you, I swear its getting easier.

As ever, detox week is dull and low key…however, this week found us up in the accident and emergency unit…

Judy called to say that Caitlin had hurt her hand and there was I thinking, ‘yeah, drama queen, I’ll bet you its fine’. I encouraged them to go to casualty to have it checked out. So, there we were at 9.15pm, sitting in the hospital with the most amazing array of injuries on many children. It is heartbreaking when this happens. One wee girl had her face all cut up, another was wracked in pain with stomach ache. But then, of course there are the summer casualties, you know, the ones who have been out playing in the garden and end up hitting each other – accidentally – with golf-clubs. Or, as was the case with my god-daughter, some great sporting injury.

Well, that’s what I thought, you know, there she was, running up the wing, ready to shoot and she’s fouled by an opposing player and…no, what happened was, Caitlin was cheering on her fellow classmates and fell over some of the gym apparatus! Upshot was that the wee soul got a green-stick fracture and had a brace on for about ten days – wee angel. And there was me thinking she was being a drama queen! Some god-mother I’ve turned out to be!!!

19th-30th

Still, on the upside, since Judy was having to do a lot of graduations with her nurseries, so I got Caitlin many days after school this week and was more than happy to atone for my sins over some chips and chocolate (detox week was over!)

Also, got to meet with Jo (who does this page) and some Canadian/Californian friends. This was great, except that we met on that day – 21st June!

There it was, mid-summer’s day – the longest and, presumably, the hottest day of the year. And, well, it was like a day in October. Honestly, the rain and the wind never stopped. There was a tree round from the house that was bent double the next day – this weather is absolutely mental, how can it be? Welcome to Scotland Jo’s friends! Mind you, they had been before, so hopefully, they saw our beautiful country in a different light!

And you know the wonderful James Dean, not the dead film star, but MY James Dean – he was getting married to Debbie, his childhood sweetheart.

The wedding was in the planning for a while, well Debbie’s side of it was, James? Not so… He called me on the Tuesday and said something like ‘eh, you know how you’re coming to my Wedding on Saturday? Well, do you fancy singing a wee song at the service?’

I mean, when someone asks me to sing at their wedding, its months (sometimes years!) in the planning. What song? Where in the Service will I sing? Where will I stand. Most couples have it organised with military precision.

Not James, he calls up 4 days before the event, asks me to sing and tells me to sing ‘whatever’! You gotta admire that?

We went to their wedding and it was a fantastic night – I sang ‘Blessed’ and James & Debbie were delighted. Amazingly, after the bad weather we’d had, the service was held outside, it was wonderful…like a Hollywood movie!

Did I tell you last month that I was starting my FPR radio show again? Well, I did and I loved it.

My guest on the first night was my big brother Anthony (Tony-to-his-pals). It was a great wee chat, you know that he is a superstar in Paisley (which is where we’re from) and he just chatted and played his songs as though he’d been doing it all his life.

Not so for me however!

No, I went into the station all chuffed and excited and was introduced to Caroline who was doing the show before me. She had been told to be good since Carol Laula, the consummate professional was following her show. (She, of course, was impressed enough to ask ‘Carol Who?’)

Anyway, as the sea parted and I made my way through the deafening cheers, to the DJ’s chair. I sat behind it, successfully switched off the news and turned in blind panic to the programme controller and Caroline (who was waiting with bated breath, to witness my incredible skill and prowess)

‘Where’s my mic, how do I turn it on, where’s my mic’ I screeched.

Caroline left the studio, safe in the knowledge that THAT was Carol Laula -!

The folk at FPR 106.6fm can hardly contain themselves in wait for my next show on Thursday 6th from 6-8pm. Yvonne Lyon is my guest, by-the-way.