So, I have decided this time to make a full pot of coffee...the only danger is that it is now finished. drrrrrrrrrrprrrrrrrrrmrrrrrrrrr - yes, the ringing in my head. Still, to conquer that, I have Iain Morrison, Eddi Reader (as usual!), The Waifs and Poor Old Ben lined up to help me write this book! Yeah, well, it takes me a long time to talk about myself...in fact, as the great Woody Allen once said; 'enough of me talking about myself, why don't you talk about me now...!'

So yes, personality disorder and coffee in hand I write...

I love my scooter...I love my scooter...I love my Scooter....I hear you wonder...'why is she using that old joke? She used it last month' - Well, read on!

November...


1st - 7th

Now, almost as soon as my scooter came back from the MOT shop, it was broken...I don't get it...the guys at my wee place said 'so, when did your exhaust actually go?' 'Go where?' I thought. 'nope, when did it actually break?'

Ahhh, so its broken? But, no, wait...I just got one - fifteen months ago and its on a 24 month warranty - phew...

But alas, no...'no fur wear and tear its no'.

So, for about the 6th time this year, my wee Neo is in the bike hospital trying to get well! I love my scooter...I love my scooter...I love my Scooter....

But, enough of that...this November was a pretty good one as Novembers go!

Sadly though, an aunt-in-law died. The funeral was pretty sad, however, there was a wee bit of humour in there too...

I hadn't ever seen a dead body before and there was no reason to see one now. I knew the aunt, I will miss her very much, but I didn't want to see her body to say goodbye. However, as we got to the funeral parlour I had to visit the toilet. No problem, in I went. I followed the corridor and happened upon the room for the toilet.

'oh, wow, this must also be a show room for coffins' because, there was a small coffin sitting there. As I rounded the door, I saw that the lid was off and there was a kind of pink lace shroud thing that parted at the middle. 'hmm, interesting that they would show coffins in a toilet' I thought. Anyway, my eyes continued up the parting of the pink lace shroud thing only to rest on my wee aunt's face - WAH! There she was, lying there, not dead...but sleeping. That's how it looked. It wasn't scary, it wasn't horrible, it was just...unexpected, I guess. Although, now, afterwards, it was a bit comforting too...I think.

The good things in November included a sell-out show at the Tron Theatre in Glasgow - this was a really great show - I loved it. But first, as with all shows, there has to be some shopping involved. I am sure you remember how much I love shopping...

So, my shopper - Amanda - couldn't make it, so it was down to Judy, the other serial shopper in my life! We met at 12.15, with my friend Lynne jokingly suggesting that we would be done by 2.30. Well, we were off. Judy spotted a wee top and some jeans in our first shop. Ah...but it wasn't really my style...you know, sequence and sparkles and stuff...more like something my mum, or Caitlin would wear...well, nope hold on...yep, let's try it on...we were in the dressing room...a couple of looks in the mirror (two more than I could stand) and...yep, it wasn't really my style, but yep, I liked it, yep, it would do...in fact, better than that, it looks great...yeah, I'll get the trousers taken up, wear my beige boots and...well...we were finished by 12.30! Off to Montgomerry's for coffee - life really is sweet...!

There were lots of full band rehearsals this week, with Gwen telling us all what to do and stuff, but I did manage to get to the movies to see Johnny Depp and Kate Winslett in Neverland. I thought it was wonderful and enchanting and emotional. JD just does it everytime and I think his Scottish accent was flawless...however, I would just like to state for the record that, when I die I would be very grateful if I looked a little like Kate Winslett did when she was dying - she looked amazing and, apart from that, I think that she too is a wonderful actor.

So, the show! Well, there's not a lot to say about it really. Well, not a lot and actually tumultuous amounts! (can you say tumultuous without sounding like an English graduate?). I felt for Colin because it is not easy to fill Johnny's shoes, in fact, it is impossible. However, he took the challenge with both hands and played a stormer at the show. Together with a different guitarist, there was the wonder that is Greg Barnes on keyboards (and a bit of Trumpet for Ode to Bob). He was fantastic...a lovely and subtle player who plays just enough. I also invited David Rogers (manager) to come along and play some whistle on the few new tunes I played...it was excellent (I'm getting a feel for how I want the new album to sound). He too is a lovely player. And, of course, the usual suspects...Alby, Stuart and Gwen were just fantastic. Gwen is six months pregnant and sang like a lark. Alby and Stuart? Well, the are really the crux of almost everything I do live...it is a pleasure and an honour to play with such gifted people...and, we played an impromptu 'puppy love' during the encore!


8th-21st

So, 'I love my scooter...I love my scooter...' which was ready to collect...off I went. And, I don't know if you remember, but it was pretty cold early in November. I think I am going to replace 'love' with 'quite like in the winter when its cold...' . Anyway, no sooner had I collected it when I realised that all my electrics were mental - eh? That can't be right! Can it?

Well, when I brake, the brake light dims, when I drive over a bump, my full beam comes on, when I indicate, nothing happens. Now, I'm not really afraid of many things, but I'm not a daredevil either. But I gotta tell you, driving Neo when there are no indicators is pretty mental - so, I did that for about a week! 'I quite like my scooter in the winter when its cold...I quite like my scooter in the winter when its cold...'

Suffice to say that its on trip no 7 to the bike hospital...

My wee Caitlin Rose was playing in Princes Square this week...that is to say that she was singing carols to Christmas shoppers...well, christmas shoppers and stalker aunts and mums...she was so cute, all dressed up in her school uniform and her santa hat...she's having the thing with her mum where she doesn't believe in santa and Judy wont confirm or deny the rumours...question I have is, he really is real isn't he?

...isn't he?

I was asked to play a benefit show for SpiritAid - a charity that David Hayman (outstanding Scottish actor) champions. I have done some stuff with them before - remember the Dalai Lhama concert in May? So I was looking forward to. However, nothing could have prepared me for what a brilliant night it was. There were some great musicians there to play...but none other than the mighty Fraser Spiers. Acht, it was great. I invited him up to play a couple of songs with me, songs, I hasten to add, he hasn't played for about nine or ten years. We did Ode to Bob and Tragedy Waltz and he was sublime. It took me back to when we were recording the album (PLV) and he just played all of those parts off the top of his head - amazing. We resolved to get together and play some more shows together...watch this space...

...speaking of which, watch this space for Yvonne Lyon. She is playing on Friday 3rd December at the Tron Foyer Bar as part of the Acoustic Affair - if its not too short notice, I suggest you try to get down there to see her.


22nd - 30th

This last week in November was eventful.

I was asked to help the women of Cornton Vale prison with their panto this year...oh yes they did. It reminded me of a recurring dream I used to have...

...I used to dream that I was going to either visit someone or perform in a prison...then on the way out, the guard would inform me that I was to be kept in, that I wasn't allowed to leave. 'No, no, I was just in visiting' or 'no, you don't understand, I have a show to do...' I would say, but nope, they just locked me up! I don't know what this says about my personality but I do know that I used to wake up in fits of panic...weirdo police I think!

Anyway, the dream stopped just after I'd started watching 'Prisoner of Cellblock H'. I was a latecomer to this series, but it seemed to do the trick. Mind you, visiting the prison felt a wee bit like hanging out in a Butlins camp - I'm sure that the women I worked with didn't feel the same. However, they had a sharp with and healthy sense of humour which, I am sure, gets them through the long nights of red-coat entertainment!

A strange thing happened this week...I got a new guitar! Not strange in itself, but in order to get the new guitar I had to sell one of my older ones (can't justify having six!). Anyway, it was very strange because, I really am not a material girl and so losing one guitar for another, new, small, fancy-nancy Martin would be fine...wouldn't it? Well, wouldn't it?

No, it wouldn't be fine. I am amazed at how attached I had become to this particular guitar - a piece of wood after all. But as selling day came close, I began to remember all the stuff that I had done with this guitar. Used on all of my albums, travelled a few corners of the world with it, written many, if not all pre-'92 songs on it, played in so many wonderful venues with it - including BOTH Carnegie halls...!

David sold the guitar for me but I wanted to meet the person who was buying it...a lovely woman - and fan of CL called Elaine. I went to meet her in a coffee shop and showed her the guitar. Well, I didn't want her to commit to spending loadsa money on an old guitar without actually seeing it - and, if I'm honest, I wanted to see her holding it (don't ask because I know its weird). Then I did something very stupid - I told her to make sure that the guitar was kept at a nice temperature...honestly - if I had heard someone else saying those things I'd have been in hysterics...anyway, Elaine said she had already committed to buying it - but she didn't want to hold it just yet! Well, okay, maybe she would at least understand what it meant to me...then she started talking about CL and about how I'd inspired her to buy her first takamine guitar and how she remembered being at this or that gig and all that stuff that just made it okay...it felt kinda nice to hear what she was saying and I was feeling a little less melancholy about things...and then she indulged me further and held the guitar, just to see how it felt...ahh, it was okay, I felt better and better...my wean was going to a good home...but the upshot is really that I am indeed a weirdo - still, at least I'm a weirdo with a lovely new Little Martin. Good guitars should have good homes - I hope that you enjoy it Elaine, as much as I have...

So, greetin' over...

I was off to meet a wonderful classical guitarist - Anne Charaund. To talk of music? To discuss guitars? Alas no...to talk about Cuba. Anne had been twice in the lats year or so and I wanted to get the heads up on what to expect...well, she was so excited. She started her next story before she managed to finish the first one - I am getting very excited about going to that place...very excited. We have been told to take a load of stuff to give out when we're there - pens, guitar strings, pencils, deodorant, pain killers, feminine hygeine, toothpaste, condoms...you know, real luxuries like that! So, we are going to take them, lots of them...if you have any of that kind of stuff that you want to donate, then please get in touch with David, he will give you an address to send them to.

And, the last thing of the month was going to see Poor Old Ben in the Tron Foyer Bar with Acoustic Affair. They were wonderful - absolutely tremendous. They are a happening band...if you get a chance to go see them, they are in King Tut's on 23rd December - a real must see.

I wish you all of the warmth, peace, happiness and health you can find over the festive period...and on into 2005...enjoy! Remember life is for livin'

love and peace

Carol