October 2007

Well, it's December already and here I am, sheepish in all my lateness, apologising profusely for not having sat down to write a diary in the last two months...shocking behaviour I know!

Ah well, here I am now - ready to bore you - BIG TIME!!

Not only that, but I noticed at the end of my last entry, I seemed a wee bit grumpy! I really believe that I am turning into my father! I thought girls were meant to go the mother route? What's-happening-to-me?????? Only joking Dad, if there was ever a guy I could be, you'd be it! You and someone like, I don't know, like, I don't know... Like Donald Trump? He's been in the news a lot eh? Trying to build big ugly things in beautiful places - nah, don't fancy being him - not too keen on the toupee!

I don't know what other guy I'd like to be? Maybe Jesse James? Nah, I don't really like guns.

Hey, that reminds me of a time I went to a gun range in California and had a shot with a Colt 44 (or is it 45?). Anyway, I didn't like it. I tried one shot and it was horrible, there were all these people there with big, real guns, shooting wee paper people-shaped targets. If someone had really wanted to, they could have shot all the people in the place then started a killing spree outside before anyone got to raise the alarm!

Anyway, like I said, I didn't like it.

Then once, some years later, I was on some team-building thing and one of the activities was target practice...didn't want to do it, but I did it anyway - otherwise the team would have lost marks. So, got my gun and was to shoot at a wee circle - non-people-shaped - target.

Afterwards, the Rambo-type instructor took the wee circle and was agog...apparently I had shot two of the bullets through an almost identical hole.

The Jesse James in me was more than a little pleased, but then I got a wee shiver down my spine.

Aha - like I said, I'm gonna bore you BIG TIME!

So, October...

Detox was remarkably relaxed and relaxing and indeed I did get a lot of DIY done. I'm loving doing things like pottering about in the garden and lighting fires in my fire pit - really am turning into my dad.

DIY on the back burner though (like the allegory there? DIY, back burner? Fire pit?) Ah, never mind!

David and I had a great drive up north to play a few shows in October.

The first was in Lyth and it was just amazing. Well, I love the drive up there, it's almost at Thurso, so, right at the top of our beautiful country.

We drove and we drove, and then drove some more. It was an incredibly long journey and worth every minute of it. Also, don't worry about where we stopped to eat...I was fully equipped with my stash of detox stuff!

When we arrived in this little place - the Lyth Arts Centre - it was like a wee hamlet. On one side a big house for the touring arts company and artists to stay in, while they performed in this most amazing arts centre across the courtyard.

William, our host, greeted us with the warmest welcome - congratulating us on having made the journey - and took us into the venue. It was quite amazing. I just didn't expect this state of the art venue in what was quite literally the middle of nowhere.

Our show was sold out, which was a bonus. I don't know where the people came from. But came they did and we had a great fun show; lots of chat, lots of laughter and lots of music.

Unfortunately for David though, there was lots of sickness too. I think it was my driving. But he was throwing up before and after the show.

Not good, especially with me, Mrs sympathy - NOT. I was just saying stuff like ‘ah you'll be fine, let's get on with it' etc etc, not the best person to be around when you're feeling ill!

At the end of the gig, a lovely girl was chatting to me - Alison. She seemed young to be a Carol Laula fan. However, when we were chatting, she said to me that when she was a wee girl, her dad used to play CL CDs in the car and she loved them. How cool was that? Even better, she's in a band now and has recorded her own stuff - !

Next day, after we ate breakfast - all stocked up thanks to William - we were off to John O'groats - sight see-ers. David (who was all better now - see? I was right!) hadn't ever been to J'O, and, as you'd expect, it was raining sideways, the wind was howling and there was a shop with shortbread and bagpipes playing and David was thoroughly unimpressed! Bloody Sassenach!

He redeemed himself later though; he took me to visit a friend of his.

David had called him to see where he lived and it seemed he really did live in the middle of no-where...he told us to go off the road to this dirt track then past the big tree take a left, then go along past some more trees and take a right and...oh-my-god, it must've taken us about 3 hours to drive 5 miles. AND we took a wrong turn, past the game keeper's house, which was unfortunate as he had just killed a few stags. How do I know? Well, of course their HEADS were lying by his front door - eyes open, staring at me!!! All but saying, ‘you've taken the wrong turning'.

Anyway, we finally got to the house - and my god, it was quite something. Massive, great sound system throughout, it's own loch and three beautiful children.

Some of the house was quite old and the whole family were showing us around - it took ages! Then, our last stop was a kind of modern part, just built apparently. We stood at what felt like a viewing platform, looking down through a big glass wall to an amazing, fully equipped bar (damn you detox) and a big TV lounge, and then our host pressed something and something started moving - it was only the cover over the SWIMMING POOL!

I made a very cool and sophisticated sound - that went something like WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I wish I'd brought my cozzie!

Okay, time to leave while some of my self-respect was still intact!

And we were off to our next gig - Kingussie.

This was quite a gig. Again an amazing venue - sometimes this small country gets the arts funding exactly right!

The gig was fairly quiet though, something about the hunting season and the weather (well, I know all about the hunting season - the stags heads, remember?) but it was just great. Really great chat and great feedback from the audience. I think these intimate venues are just perfect for audience interaction - works for me!

Next night we were off to The Old Brewery in Cromarty. This is a lovely wee town right on the east coast; it is idyllic.

Then there was the venue...I felt as though I'd stepped into a casa in a village in Mexico. It was just perfect. Strings of fairy lights, wee tables all set out. Come for a meal and some music.

Again, a lovely gig. Sold out again which, as I said, is always a bonus, but it doesn't really matter either way, when the response you get is so warm.

And then I came home...home to the sander. I'm sure you know that story from last month's front page news, but suffice to say, I did it, didn't like it, undid it, did it again and it still isn't right...I'm trying to address my monica-isms, but it's hard! Really hard!!!

November 2007

And, off I trundled with my mismatched floors into November. Where I took my wee car into the Citroen garage to have the squeaky brakes repaired. Well, why not, it was still under warranty, so I should get it fixed free, right?

Wrong?

It seems that when you get a new car, the only things that are guaranteed under the warranty are the things that are not broken. The things that are broken are not covered and you have to pay to have them repaired. Unless, like me, you have a trusty friend who can do it for half the price.

I explained this to the girl on the phone who then told me that, even though I was having someone else repair the car, I'd still be liable for a £40 charge for, for, well, for something!

‘Aye right!' Was my hasty response as I collected the car and drove off into the November sunset with my £40 firmly in my own pocket - BESIDE MY EFFIN' WARRANTY!!!!!

I had a wonderful show at the Glasgay festival in St Andrew's in the Square. This is a tremendous venue and I swear my voice is still reverberating in the after the show I did there in January.

Paul McLaughlin opened that night too - he was great and he and I did a song together... ‘still not going anywhere' one of Paul's and a real cracker! Look out for him...

November, November, a glorious month for football - well, almost!

I got a ticket to see Celtic v Benfica a Parkhead, which, as always is an amazing place to be. I think I've said before, but I love that thing when you're in a football stadium, anywhere and it seems that the world ends at the roof of the stadium and noise and the singing...all wonderful.

The game? Nah, kinda dull - even though Celtic scored and won the match...all good, except that I had to go to the toilet and missed the bloody goal!

But, the biggie - Scotland v Italy.

Well, I was all ready, bought my Scotland top - for £10.50 and the material - polystyrene!!! Of the ...ester variety - is this what the teams play in? Don't they have nice cotton or silk? (I'm really asking the question here...do they honestly have to play in that horrible material?)

Anyway, hair all sticking out in an attractive polyester-static fashion, I went down to a bar to meet some pals.

Well, this was not good. Every bar was just shoulder...there was no moving room whatsoever. If someone moved fifty feet away, you could feel it. There were high expectations for this game indeed. The atmosphere was electric, palpable even.

And then, of course, Italy scored within 0.2 seconds and the whole of Scotland it seemed, shut up! What silence, it was amazing! What an absolute shame.

I struggled to see the rest of the 1st half...the guy in front of me, who was about two-feet taller than I, chose to breathe and move and talk to the person next to him...I left in a huff in the hope of finding a better venue.

I did...round from my new palace.

I managed to get there for the second half, there were four TVs and hardly any people there...then I realised that the people who were there were ‘choice'...a few scars, a few extra eyes, some who growled whilst asking for beer and a barmaid who approached with slanted eyes, folded arms and a ‘hhhhhhhuuuuuh' type noise, which I assumed meant

‘good day madam, can I get you a drink?'

‘Yes, a glass of red wine please?'

...was that a smirk I saw lurking behind her eyes when she answered ‘nane'? (translates as ‘none' in plain English.)

So, I managed, with my bottle of Becks, to enjoy the second-half...especially when Scotland scored the goal!

It was a glorious moment - in fact, hadn't we practically won the European Cup in that moment? Yessss, we had it was glorious, we were through.

Then, the tackle, then the goal, then the silence, the stunned silence, then the groans, then the sighs, then the consensus - ‘well, we nearly qualified, we almost made the final, so let's party anyway'. Typical Scots, ye canny whack it!

And on that note I'm off...I don't have a big trip booked this year, the big trip will be from the downstairs of the house to the upstairs then back again...mind you, I did manage to book a cheeky wee week in Lanzarote so, I think I'll manage to get through the year!!!!

Have a great Christmas and a lovely warm New Year (the year Scotland's going to win the world cup!)

Carol